Friday, February 1, 2008

You know your parents smoke crack when...

Herbie Hancock Rocks
Chameleon is the freshness
balls all a-tingle

You know you're parents smoke crack when:

1. Your lights and water are off but your phone bill is paid through the next decade.

2. Your diet consists of egg sandwiches and cinnamon rolls

3. You have seen your dad out in his underwear in the winter more than once.

4. You have the pawn shop on speed dial.

5. Payday turns into broke day before your parents even get home

6. Your Dad informs you and all your friends how he needs pussy (bonus points if he tells your girlfriend while you are taking a leak)

7. You can always buy your dad's car for whatever you have in your pocket, but you never end up owning the car.

8. All of your guests look like Bobby Brown stunt doubles and go by a letter of the alphabet (Q, V, L...)

9. You all of a sudden have 500 brothers (if your parents smoked crack you would see how true this one really is, I will explain to you others later)

10. The best furniture, nay, the only furniture in the house is on the porch.

11. Your parents name their bedroom after something galactic ("The Enterprise", "the Starship", "The Millenium Falcon"...)

12. You can't wait for your dad to get kidnapped so you can sleep a whole night without him waking you up every hour to ask if you have any money stashed somewhere.

13. You go to school one day and when you get home your entire family has moved without telling you.

14. You think it would be a step up to live with Smeagol.

More of these later...

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