I said sweep the leg
you got a problem with that?
No, cobra sensei
Karate Kid r0xx0rs
OK before I get to today's postittly goodness, a few rants to ruin your day and your lunch.
First, the traffic. Now I know I rant on the stupidity of people and how almost everything annoys me a lot, and you might be bored with it. But wait! This is a new and imroved, calmer Stevester, a more caring, sharing brown bear, if you will.
I know things were bad this morning, and I will get to that, but I wanted to share for our few remaining friends at The Firm, enjoy:
Steve's Top Ten Ways to Act Out in a Manager's Meeting!
(Steve's Top Ten series always goes to 11!)
Steve's top 10 ways to act out in a manager's meeting!:
10. Sit leaning back in the chair with your arms crossed.
9. Embrace the uncomfortable silence.
8. Inform management every chance you get that you have a diploma in communications (really)
7. fart as you walk in and close the door to keep the stench in.
6. Make a reference when the meeting is about to be wrapped up that "Oh looks like it's Mark time, guess my time is up"
5. Make the CIO cry and claim innocence.
4. roll your eyes at EVERYTHING.
3. Finish every meeting with "Are we done now?" (note: this will DEFINITELY get you another manager's meeting, so watch it)
2. Sit silently for at least 10 seconds before responding to ANY question.
1. Rub your hand all over your crotch before going in and make sure to try to touch someone's hand
Bonus! Inform them frequently that you miss Frank (Warning: this will get you a very real write up)
Now that that's done with, it took me 2 fucking hours to get in to work this morning. 2 hours! You wanna know why? This will really queef your taco, listen to this: some asshat rear ended a fire engine. I am not making this up, some asshole, trying to draft behind a fire truck that is presumably on it's way to or on it's way from saving lives, runs into the back of the damn fire truck, making it so wherever it was going, they get to wait a few more hours.
What really chaps my ass is the accident is on the OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD!
Whatever, moving on.
Anyway, after the asshat Pankey tells me I have 2 more weeks to find a damn job, I mosey on back to tell Richard it's his turn. He is all worried, which only pisses me off, and I inform him that he and everyone else waiting have nothing to worry about, I was the one who got fired.
I watched, annoyed and a little hungry, as everyone breathed an almost imperceptible sigh of relief, thank heavens, this negro took the shot that could have been aimed at one of us!
Damn, I dont have enough space or time to finish, more tomorrow...