I am your brother
I'm your best friend forever
singing songs you love
Renaldo Lapuz. Do a search for that on Youtube, he is much man.
So I was talking to JJ, and of course the conversation turned to Smeagol and how he was doing. JJ informed me that Smeagol was still working the booty ass overtime, and was currently watching his daughter at his apartment. In that instant, many questions flew through my mind:
1. Who in their right mind would allow Smeagol to watch their child? I mean don't get me wrong, Smeagol isn't going to harm her or anything, but if something happens she will be the strongest and most intelligent person in the apartment, and she's 3!
2. Who in their right mind would allow Smeagol to watch their child for any longer than 30 seconds at a time? I mean it's like Tarzan; how do we know that she will not pick up some of the Smeags' habits? What would JJ do if she came back and was wearing a green thong and eating raw fish and grunting angrilly as her only form of communication? We know so little of raptors, their child raising habits, why would he let his child become endangered?
3. Mystery. That is not so much a question but more of a reason. A reason to not let any children within 100 feet of their house! She stinks, she's a jerk, and I remember she let my kid fall off the couch and bust his head and just sat there looking at him. I mean come on! This is the same....I guess human... that would declare herself homeless at the hospital to get free care. What's even funnier, is after the doctor got a look at her or a sniff of her crotchal region, they usually believed her! I feel like a jerk making fun of her but dammit I never liked her!
I also heard Smeagol filed for taxes. Now the exalted Raptor Dance must be done, choreographed with precision to ensure I get to Smeagol in that tiny window between him touching his refund check and him raptoring it away on Kim Chi and Hot Wheels (I can come up with a whole post on the topic of Hot Wheels) and solidifying his reign as the King of Failure.
On a wholly unrelated note, what would Smeagol's and greyskull's children look like? Think about it while you are eating tonight.