Tuesday, February 12, 2008

I cheated on the one I love...

It's the Tylester
playing music for Baker
Mean? No. Genius? Yes

I Cheated.

I know I should feel bad about this, but I cannot muster up the feelings of guilt one should have when one cheats on the one he loves. Maybe if I explain you can see how I came to this point and you will not think me a monster for it...

We had been in love for years. It started innocently enough, I was a young scrap, who knew little of the world. My love was beautiful, almost angellic, gentle and funny and caring. When we got together we laughed, we cried, we became soulmates, and I thought the bliss would last to the end of my days.

Sure, others came along and tried to pry me from our union, and a few came close, but the bond we shared was, I always thought, too strong to break. For God's sake I have 3 children, 3 beautiful little boys who look up to me as a blueprint for how a man should act in this world, what am I going to tell them?! How can I tell them that love is so fleeting, that some things change as time goes on?

Let me explain.

Last night, I was lonely. My love was gone, as is the norm for these times, and I know it is my fault because I pushed her away, loaning her out to a world that was full of wolves. I knew she was strong enough to come back to me, and I knew she would always be mine, so that was not the problem. It's just that, we had been apart a lot these last few weeks, and I was feeling lonely, and in need of some stimulation that I was not getting... there's nothing wrong with that, right?

When this new beauty showed up, I was at first wary of her pleasures and delicious curves. I had been burned before, and I did not want to lose something I had if it was not for a damned good reason. I took this new, darker harlot into my home, and she seduced me. I was mesmerized by her voice, enticed by her looks and completely under her spell. When it was over I felt a little guilty, a little dirty, but more than that free, as if I had been chained to the ocean floor and a passing anchor had cut those chains, much as it had cut the internet cable connecting Africa and the Middle East.

What should I do, guys? WHat would you do in a situation where you feel like you are living a farce, where you are with your old love and you are just going through the motions, all the while thinking about how the new apple of your eye made you feel?

I'm talking, of course, about Breakin'.

It was a love that I thought would sustain the ages, one that I never thought could be topped, but last night, last night I saw Beat Street. I had heard about it, but had never paid any attention to it's alleged superior soundtrack and breakdancing moves. Last night, I wanted to watch Breakin', but I had let someone borrow it again, and I could not. It had been 3 weeks or more since I had seen it, and I needed some breakdancing in my blood. I did it, I popped Beat Street into the DVD player and was at once mesmerized and enticed. The soundtrack was almost all early 80s hip hop! That's not even fair, ya'll! It's a cheap shot! There was even less of a plot than Breakin'! The entire movie seemed to be random breakdance battles in tight windsuits with Adidas and derby hats and Thriller gloves! I didn't know how to stop! We laughed, we cried, and then we scissored all night long... wait....

I know it is going to be awkward, but I have to tell the children tonight that there is a movie out there, a movie more awesome than Breakin'. I just wish I knew what to say to them! Help me, guys, how do I turn their little minds topsy turvy without ripping the fabric of the space time continuum apart with this groundbreaking knowledge?

I'm so confused, not should-I-hump-dewds confused, but confused nonetheless...

More tomorrow.


This Haggard Machine said...

You need a smack, right now! Clearly the broom scene in Breakin' will bring you back to reality. Hell, "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo" is a finer piece of cinema than Beat Street, sheesh!

Beat Street, geez, you dirty bitch. What's the matter with you? It's got fucking Rae Dawn Chong in it, you twat!

You need to get back in touch with Turbo and Ozone, right this minute, or I'll kick your ass myself!

Stevester said...

I know, I just feel so...so...confused! I don't know why I have these feelings but I do! NooOOooO!