Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Scam Time! (The Saga Continues...)

Freak Show, the dance floor

Cold Chillin' Ice T is ill

Breakin' rocks the house!

Quick note:
Before I get to the scam for today, I have to tell you guys. I am not sure if you even pay attention to what music I am currently listening to...I don't update it all that often and most of the songs illicit violent diahrrea even at their mention, but I had to share this:

I bought a bunch of tapes off of eBay, I have a tape deck in my car, and one of the tapes was Breakin': the Soundtrack... I put the tape in, and holy hell... Freakshow on the dance floor by the Bar-Kays made me squirt a little sausage flavored mangravy into my pants... this is the most awesome tape ever.

Anyway, my PSA done, on to the scam!

OK so we left the Nationoal Lottery scam last week with me writing in how excited I was that I had won, now it is time for some messing around. Observe, and enjoy:



Your email has been acknowledge in our lottery department of the British American Tobacco (British American Tobacco? That even SOUNDS stupid!),This is to comfirmed that we are in receipt of your email and it was well noted in our department.

You have to be very cleared that the lottery company is not asking you to pay for any transfer fees none delivering changes hence you are pick from the options that best suit you.

Note:That all the document releated to your winnings has been aprroved and signed by the board of directors.

The lottery company is awaiting you to pick from the payment options so that we can furnish you with further informations on how you are to claim your winnings prize.

You are required to pick from the payment option stated below how you choose to be paid by:


1. Bank To Bank Wired Transfer .

2. International Certified Cashiers Cheque Made Out In Your Name And Dilivered To You By Our Affiliate Courier Company.



Yours Faithfully,
Mrs. Colin Murphy

OK so this is from the British American Tobacco Company, Colin Murphy is with the Latin Security Company, which oversees the British Nationoal Lottery and is located not in Latin America, or in America, where we have so much tobacco we export it, but in the United Kingdom.... got it? My response:

From: Philip McKraken
Sent: Wed 10/24/07 11:11 PM
To: Murphy Colin

I would prefer a cashiers cheque made out to me, also, since I am rich now, are you single, Ms. Colin Murphy? You see, I am known as kind of a ladies man, I have thumped many a cheesy camel toe in my day, and would love the chance to discuss this over a nice box of wine or some sparkling grape juice without the sparkle, what do you say? Anyway, enough of that, can you send me a scan of the cheque? Also, you should learn to spell better, it is check, not cheque, that's a country next to Congo or something, over in Europe or something.

What do I need to do? Can you send me a picture of yourself? I also thought the .hk at the end of your email address meant Hong Kong. Are you in Canada, England, Chequelosavekia, or Hong Kong? I just need to know which slurs to use. I am so excited about getting this money, you see my mother suffers from titdrag, a horrible condition affecting older women in which their skin starts drooping in the most inopportune of places, I need about 50000 dollars to get that Botoxed back up so at least she doesn't piss all over her tits while she's on the can, know what I mean?

This no talent ass hat sends me a bill for the courier, watch how completely bugfuck insane I get tomorrow. Don't worry, there are plenty of Smeagol and Dad stories to come, but I feel I have neglected a few of the other characters here, notably Greyskull, so it might wait until Monday to hear from them again.

I am also going through a job scam and another scam, maybe the job thing is not a scam since it came through careerbuilder, but I don't care they get the Jeremy anyway... I am also playing Yoda with this scammer who started bothering me last night, no joke ya'll I am thinking that they see my email in the internet cafe in Lagos and that's why I get a new scammer bothering me every 3 or 4 days (seriously)... awesome.

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