Wednesday, October 10, 2007

The Move (Part II)

Kansas City Chiefs
like an ugly girl who blows
I just can't say no

The Move (Part II)

So We get all his crap into the truck, and head out, a tentative good feeling emanating throughout my body as I think about not having to help out anymore. Smeagol wants us to park the truck at my mom's house until Sunday morning, when apparently him and JJ are going to move the stuff into a storage locker. I am thrilled, if I never see that refrigerator again it will be too soon.

I drop them off and get back in my car, and Smeagol informs me that he gets off at 7 PM Monday. I do not pay any attention, as I have no intention of coming back down South for any reason until it is time for work. But as you all now know, if that was really the case there would be no post today.

I call JJ Sunday morning, because like I said the truck is in my name and I would rather not run into any complications or anything due to the truck and Smeagol's hatred of punctuality (and cooked fish). I had told the truck place they would have their truck back at 10:00 AM Sunday, and Smeagol was right there, picking at his face the whole time, kind of looking like a chimp grooming itself, but uglier. I mean really, I'm no catch myself, so I really cannot talk about a lot of people, but Smeagol is one ugly mutha. Anyhoo I tell Smeagol to drive the truck because I am not getting his filth in the driver's seat of my car, a few future posts will tell you why.

Anyway, it is after noon on Sunday, but I am not really worried yet, not until I call back at around 5 PM and Smeagol still had not shown up. The truck company calls about their truck, and I promise it at around 4 PM Columbus day, and tell JJ to let Smeags know that is his crap is still in the truck, I am going to set it on the curb and take the truck back. Fast forward to Columbus day, Monday, and I am picking the house up, intent on playing some Civilization unencumbered by clothing since I have the house to myself. JJ calls and informs me that Smeagol told him he had to work some booty ass overtime Sunday night and that he gets off at 7 PM tonight, so let's all meet at my mom's house at 7:30. WTF?! my annoyance knows no bounds as, along with the Chiefs sucking man chowder through the skin straw Jacksonville gave them, now my whole weekend is ruined.

I go all the way to my mom's house, and Smeagol is there, thankfully fully clothed, curled up in a Ball in a chair sleeping soundly. JJ is nowhere to be seen. Funk dat, I start to sneak back out, since I am not moving all that crap by myself, and I guess Smeagol's Leech alarm went off, like it does every time someone is around he thinks he can leech off of for goods and services and money, and he follows me out, just as JJ pulls up with one of his buddies. I tell his friend, AV, to come along and help, like a jerk not informing him of the stench that now had had a full night to fester in a hotbox in the sunlight for a whole day.

Tomorrow: the conclusion, with special guest, Mystery! Also on the horizon, being influenced by such sites as and our own Haggard's websites, I have set up a special email address to mess with those Nigerian scammers, I have been messing with one for about 3 days now, I will start posting the emails that have been exchanged, they are awesome! If you get a scammer you want me to mess with, please send all of those emails to , or my other address for this, and I will take care of them.

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