Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Bungle in the Jungle

Tyler loves Smeagol
So does Will, but is that wrong?
I would wager yes.

Parenting skills

I thought I had touched on this subject before, but whilst eating the best barbecue a gas station has to offer, Will convinced me, with vigorous rubbings on the kneecap and cock, that I had not.

I am a bad parent. Look, I know this, and have made my peace with it. I teach my kids raunchy things to do for my own personal enjoyment. I taught my oldest son to fart, waft, and then shake hands with someone to commemorate said occasion, something he still proudly does to this day.

My middle son, being a bit short for his age, has a bad attitude problem, most likely gotten from his mother. I knew that the fart thing was being overdone, and if I taught that to him and he did that at school the teachers would be onto me and my devious plan, so I got creative. I told him that when he greets someone, that instead of shaking hands he should punch them in the ball sack, or taint if it's a woman. I allowed him to try this newfound skill on his uncle Wyatt (short for WYatt Earp, so called because he looks like him) the next time we were at my in-law's house. The funny noise he made when this happened caused the most glorious grin to display on my child's face, and a new habit was formed.

He got great joy out of it, "penispunching" as he called it, numerous people who annoyed me or just happened to get within range, and no one could say a word to me because it was all him. Great success!

If you have not met my little guy, let me know and I will make sure an introduction is made.


Anonymous said...

Hi there! Do you know if they make any plugins to safeguard against hackers?
I'm kinda paranoid about losing everything I've worked
hard on. Any recommendations?

My blog; sky free to air channel frequencies

Anonymous said...

Everyone loves what you guys are usually up too.
This kind of clever work and reporting! Keep up the good works guys I've included you guys to my blogroll.

Review my blog post; best deals from sky for existing customers