Monday, January 7, 2008

Shorter post

Satellite boogers
evades the roaming finger
and shows ugly self

Heart attack update

So I do not think I am having a heart attack anymore, since it has been going on for almost a week off and on and I am no doctor (though I play one on TV) but I have never heard of a heart attack lasting a week. I thought back to some of the healthy meals I had eaten over the past few weeks and decided it was heartburn. I had never had it, just a sign that I am getting older, fatter and strangely sexier, what with my gray hair and penchant for snuggling.

Anyway, I tried to watch all 4 football games over the weekend, only missing the Giants and the Bucs, and how the hell is it that literally every team I wanted to win got their taints handed to them? It's as if God was sittin on his throne on Mount Olympus, gently masturbating whilst watching Smeagol perm his raptorpubes, and figured you know what? That asshole Stevester has not had enough shit tossed on him yet, let's pile this on and see what happens! Ugh the thought of Smeagol perming his pubes, then not washing his hands and touching things that I end up eating off of is making me sick.

JJ came by, and I dunno why I was surprised by it but he really did not have any time to visit, he just wanted to burn a couple of cds and then he left. I mean, why make a 20 mile trip in a car with a v8 that gets horrible gas mileage, just to burn cds and not to talk with your brother? It made me sad, but not as sad as all the spyware he installed did. No wonder he complains about his internets never working. I wish I knew Flanders' number, I would have JJ call him and get some technical support:

Flanders: "Skimmerrinkeedinkeedoo, Flanders here! I am way to busy to be taking this call. I am a giant douche who asks stupid questions!"

JJ: ""

AH, my imagination is a wild untamed beast. So I need to get another headlight for the 'scort, since the Ferrelview cop keeps driving by the car slowly and looking at the tags, which are expired by a month. I briefly entertained the idea of selling it to Smeagol, but the knowledge that he would never get it legal and somehow ruin my driving record was too much, plus I feel attached to the car. There's also the tiny thing about anything successful catching fire when coming into contact with Smeagol that is a problem.

More tomorrow.

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