Thursday, December 27, 2007

A short scam, and some Smeagol goodness

Dirty Limmericks?
Or musings of a poet?
hmmmm....nah, limmericks

Smeagol Never Stops

Not really a story, but I went by my parents' house, they seem to be doing a lot better, JJ informed me that Dad has finally learned to ignore the siren call of the crackpipe, and things are going well there... Mom has been off it for a while now, Dad about 2 months... I was happy for them, though a tad sad that the stories had ended, I mean I still have some but they are over...

But not for Smeagol!

Besides getting paid Friday, and then borrowing money on Saturday from my mom in order to purchase a gift for her because he did not want to take it out of his own check, and despite the fact that he promised my dad that he would bring by the main course for their Christmas dinner, a large ham (We should all by now see what is coming, how in the world would Smeagol be able to lift up a 20 pound ham), Smeagol decided to take her money yet again and not show up. No Merry Christmas, no nothing. What a piece of shit. I am going to start on the Smeagol and Angela stories this week, and hash up some more of my Dad and my Mystical Retard stuff too... good times.

Anyway, I thought I might post a few different scams this week, kind of jump around a little bit... let me know what you think.

Bishopston Trading Company (1)

So for this one it is one of those scams where they send you a job application and want you to cash these checks and then send them money on it... and keep 10% for commission. I forwarded this email from my real account and answered back that I really needed the job
because my ass hurt. Sounds simple enough, though I wonder how this scam really works, because:

1. What's to stop me from just cashing the check and keeping the money?
2. What's to stop me from cashing the check and making sure it goes through alright before sending them a dime (bag)?

Anyway, scammer = black, me = red, thoughts = blue

From: Semore Butts (
Sent: Tue 11/27/07 8:15 PM

I would like to take up a position in your company, as this reverse cowboy is very taxing on my sphincter. Tell me what you need to get this show on the road.

Hot Karl

Why would you email someone back after getting a request for employment like this? If this is what hiring managers want, count me in!

Attention Semore Butts‏
Sent: Fri 12/07/07 2:41 AM

Attention Semore Butts
From:Mr Greg Rhodes
Imp.& Exp.code: 1100710928487
UK5 Sandy Way,
London SE5 8UN,
United Kingdom

First, I must thank you for picking up the consideration to be our commission agent via which our costumers who are ready and willing to pay some of our outstanding bills can make payment through you to us.
Your role in this endeavor is to serve as our agent to get to our customers who has been indebted to us over a considerable length of time and help stand as an agent through which they will make such payments to us. But before we commence I will want you to understand this as you would be placed on commission. Your reward for helping us collect such an outstanding debt will be 10% of whatever money that is being paid to our Company through your account.

You will be given adequate coordinates and banking instructions through which you will remit our balance 90% from your Account to us upon receipt of payment from our customers. Our constraint has always been a method of payment by several of our foreign client who we supply our goods.We presently get our payment through checks equity line of credit credting of credit card or etrade account, issued in our favor by our clients but the problem of delay is usually experienced as we are made to wait for up to one month before our local banks here clear the checks/draft. We are loosing a lot of money by doing this as most of our money is produced as short term loan and overdraft from the banks with high interest rate.

Be inform that there is no financial obligation at your end and to avert unnecessary telephone bills at your end, you are advise to mail us and we will call you upon receipt of your mail. We want to let you know that your full names phone number/contact address will be forwarded to our clients/accounts department of the company for accreditations as the company foreign commission agent in your send to us the following details so we can send them to our client that are ready to make payment?

Mailing Address:
E-mail address:
Upon receipt of your reply, I shall inform you on the next step to take to proceed with this business. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Mr Greg Rhodes
Chief Executive Officer
+44 704 574 8297+44 703 194 1862

Pretty standard, really... Who sends this kind of information out the first email, though? It seems incredibly stupid that anyone would do something like this... hmmmmmm.....

RE: Attention Semore Butts‏
From: Semore Butts (
Sent: Fri 12/07/07 3:55 PM

Mr. Rhodes I understand that I am on commission, I am glad that having a payment agent on hand is going to help with some of the problems that "checks equity line of credit credting of credit card or etrade account" can cause. I have answered your questions below, I hope you find them sufficient for employment in your company.

Can I have a free t-shirt with the company logo on it? If not I understand, I just figured I would help drum up business here in the United States. I would also like to express my amazement at the fact that you are the CEO of the company and also the hiring manager, it shows you really care about the people you hire.

Yours, Semore Butts

Name: Semore Butts
Mailing Address: 3715 Main Kansas City, Missouri 64111
AGE: 37
STATE/COUNTRY: Missouri, United States
Phone: 816-561-2600
FAX: 816-561-2602
E-mail address:

Yet again, I give the details to reach Buddies gay bar in Kansas City, and any moron who does a search for NAMBLA anything would come up with the North American Man Boy Love Association, and know I was giving fraudulent information... bunch of idiots... but it's funny, I actually get this guy to send a real live physical check to Buddies! stay tuned...

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