Thursday, September 4, 2008

Rare Political Rant

It's McDonald's Time
Who's assistant manager?
Why, Smeagol, of course

I have to wonder a few things here, and this is the place to put down my magical thoughticals. I am not particularly going to bash conservatives, no wait yes I am. Ziing!


My dad is a staunch Republican. He informed me he would vote for John McCain because, and I fucking quote, "He's an old white military guy, just like me!"

And then I saw the photo on CNN.com this morning. I will let you bask in it's glow for a moment before I move on:


This is Sarah Palin, John McCain's choice for vice president. Her stance at the podium reminds me of something....hmmmmm....what could it be?

Old Child Molester Guy?

Nah, not Larry Craig. Though to go off a little bit, why is it that the Republican Party has such staunch supporters, all proclaiming liberals are the homos, the smokers, the do-nothings, all while being embroiled in scandals such as this, Mark Foley, Mike Brown and FEMA, George Bush, Valerie Plame, shooting defenseless men in the fucking face, George Bush, Iraq, Iran, lack of health care, George Bush, horrible economy, housing crises, education cuts, a dollar that is worth less than toilet paper, etc etc ad nauseum?
That's one for the philosophisers.

Oh wait I know! Take a look at that picture of Palin once again, and then look at this great speaker from the 20th century:

OK, I know that's the reason they took the picture down this morning, and I know I should feel ashamed for even going there, but honestly, conservatives spend so much time talking about how great an evil liberals are, how we are all gay, refuse to fight, spend all day getting high and engaging in anal sex before whining because our limp wrists have caused carpal tunnel...

Why doesn't anyone on the left say "Enough is enough. Fuck those guys!"? Why is it we get blasted for not reaching across the aisle to those child-raping baby-eaters when we have power, when we were forced to hold press conferences in the fucking basement of the capital house, ridiculed and embarrassed as only Jeremy and Smeagol went to the proceedings.

Why do liberals have to be such fucking cowards and pussies?! I so wish I was in power somewhere, like over a meaningless state like Montana or something. I would friggin boss hawg everyone. I would have speeches titled stuff like "ALL Republicans rape AIDS infected babies" and "Conservatives want to sniff your Vagina". I would be the Michael Savage of the left, jowls jiggle visciously as a frothy geyser of fucking lies and filth blasted forth upon a world of hypocrisy, idiocy and general fucktardery (stole that from Rude Pundit).

Why does no one on the left stand up and mention that the only thing they could get Bill Clinton on was the same thing any man would do if given the same set of circumstances? If he had not lied about his sexual relations, I would have lost some respect for him. But the fact that he ran this country for 8 years, my dollar was worth something, I could fill my tank up without having to give a sensual blowjob (ball cupping included) to the attendant, and we had even a modicum of respect in the outside world, goes to show that he should be up there on Mount Rushmore, or have a giant cock-shaped battleship named after him, or something fuck!

If I have not offended some conservatives, I'm sorry. 

Back to my dad. I offered him 50 us dollars, which converts to 11 Euros or 35 Canadian dollars, to not vote this year. You should find a conservative friend, or go to a church with lots of little altar boys (they like to hang out there) and find one, and do the same. Sure, it takes 50 dollars, nearly half a tank of gas, out of your pocket, but 4 more years of THIS
 is worth it.

Rant somewhat complete. I will go back to Smeagol and the like tomorrow.



2 comments:

jdoublep said...

word to the third
(reich, that is)

Stevester said...

Holla!