Friday, September 12, 2008


take it in the hole
mop up that damn jizz, Jenkins!
Is the fluffer done?

Before I get to today's post, I wanted to ask: Who in their right mind would ever become a fluffer? I was thinking about that on my way into work this morning because I am married and thus technically a virgin, and cannot wrap my head around why you would suck some dude's cock or eat some chick's vag and not get anything in return. That's like jizz mopper, you only get to see others enjoy, and where's the fun in that?

Alright, philosophy aside, lets get to the sexy time post.

Some of my best years in life were spent at high school. Football, ROTC, making out with the principal/lunch lady behind the dumpsters, those were good times. I recently ran into a good friend of mine from those foregone years, and reminisced about how I thought he was a homo. Great times.

The year? 1999. The school? Northeast, nay the best urban school you could go to if you wanted to know how it felt to be that one person who speaks a weird language no one else had ever heard of, in my case, English.

After football, we would venture by either the Sonic or the 7-11 on Independence Avenue, sit back and watch the hookers walk their strolls. On this particular day we were at Sonic, and having just gotten our total, which was like 3.46, I told Tony it was his turn to pay, as I had paid last time.

He hands me 3.47, and I give him his penny back. Let the games begin:

Tony: It's 3.47
Me: no, it is 3.46
Tony: No bitch! It 3-fuckin-47, you fuckin fag!
Me: Fine let's call and ask, and if you are right I will tell them I am gay, and if I am right you have to tell them you are gay.
Tony: Deal.
<> How much was our total again?
Lady: 3.46.
Me: grinning...
Tony (to lady): Hi, I'm gay and I suck big dicks!
Lady:..... (stunned silence)

Later on as I was dropping him off I offered him 5 dollars to jump out of a moving car as I coasted by his house. I still owe him that 5 dollars.

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