a trembling douchebag
I told you these aren't capris
feel my foot fury
The above haiku was influenced because I cut the legs on my gi pants to more closely resemble the way they wore them in Japan years ago, and now everyone asks if I am wearing capris. Dammit there is a thin line between highwaters and capris and I thought I had not crossed it yet!
Anyway, I recently got a Wii Fit, and I have to say, it's awesomeness is not to be ignored. I am the master at the hula hoop game, and that in no way makes me gay! If you do not know what a Wii Fit is, it is a wireless balance board that you stand on or sit on and it comes with 40 games to improve strength and other things. It also has some fun games like the ski jump and the table tilt, so it's great at parties.
Anyway, commercial over, one of the things you do when you set it up is your little Mii character goes through a body test to see where you are fitness-wise. I figure while I am not the peak of manliness, I am not as fat and loathsome and disgusting as I was before I did that situp that one day, so I felt pretty confident. I step on, and I swear to you all the little wii fit character that talks you through the entire process winced. Fuck you asshole!
So my BMI is like 32.14%, and it makes my Wii Fit age 32, based on that, my height and my weight, which as of this writing has shrunken to a very respectable 266. So whatever, I start playing the games on it and every like 10 minutes it asks if I am alright or if I need to slow down, or if I trip when I walk... OK, whatever, I assume it does that with everyone. Before I go on, let me note that according to Wii Fit, I am morbidly obese. Whatev, I am grossly obese at best, am I right? Ziiing!
Anyway, JJ comes over for the Memorial Day cookout (which I will post on tomorrow), and gets on there and whaddya know, he is completely normal weight wise based on his height and weight and fuck that little asshole. So he starts playing. 10 minutes pass by, no questions as to whether or not he is tired. 20 minutes, 30 minutes...
FInally a message pops up on the screen. I start feeling better about myself until I read the message:
"You are in great shape, try to slow down."
Anyone want a slightly broken Wii Fit?
No all jokes aside I think this is going to be the key to getting a photo of Smeagol. I will get him playing on it, and once he sees that it is the perfect size for a curled up raptor to sleep on and takes a nap I will snap up close photos of him.