Wednesday, May 21, 2008

More Smeagol, all the time.

Love wily raptors?

How 'bout mystical retards?

You're in the right place

I assumed there would be some sort of blowback from completely ignoring that wily raptor, and there was. No, not to me, to JJ... so I dont care.

Apparently Smeagol called JJ and was all like "I don't know why everyone is avoiding me, I try to call and no one picks up! And Stevester was supposed to pick me up last Saturday and didn't! What did I do niggie...... I'm so tired" or something to that effect. Now this is funny in and of itself, because when he owes us money he ignores our calls and doesn't answer his door, and yet cannot understand why other people would do that to him, given that the only reason he ever calls anyone is to see if he can borrow something or take him somewhere.

He also asked JJ to come pick him up so he could hang out with him, and maybe while they were hanging out JJ could take him to the impound lot to get his car (radical!) and maybe buy him some dinner (totally tubular!) or something... the funny thing is JJ was actually going to go ahead and do it, which means he either plans on beating Smeagol to a pulp and taking his money back, or he was drunk whilst he was talking to me.

I am sure future civilizations, interplanetary alien tribes trolling our planet in search of resources or another pocket of our broken, sniffling, whiny race to eradicate or enslave, will come upon this blog and hopefully see how much of a friggin failure their Lord Raptor is, the only being who can withstand a nuclear holocaust and rules with a near-iron thong of might!

As I sat there, messing around with my palmtop pc and trying to get bangbus working on it, for research purposes.... I pondered a few questions:

Why was JJ all of a sudden being so nice to Smeagol? He must know Smeags had no intentions of ever giving him any money back, and that Smeagol was not going to give him any gas money.

Why do I care what a damn raptor thinks anyway? Who cares if he is annoyed with me? What's he gonna do? Run up and have me knock his teeth back in?

What's gonna happen when Toboggan Boy comes home and sees Smeagol sitting on his couch, his balls taking the breeze, only a scant 6 weeks after he threw him out for what he told me was "the last time?"

How am I supposed to get a video of Smeagol? I need help, how am I going to do that? Let's brainstorm here, people!


wbabbit said...

get a better phone...

Stevester said...

phones don't take video, and cows don't swim, stupid!