Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Jig films

dance a jig, darkie!
cops say my skin's like mocha
awkward moments pass

I hate jig films. JJ is in love with movies like "Beef", "Paid in Full", and all the others that make up a cornucopia of crap with poor acting and not even enough decency to show full frontal nudity (just the chicks, though, thanks a lot Dewey Cox!). They all in essence have the same stupid plot: Thug A is tired of 'livin' the daily struggle' and decides that there's not enough rappers out there talking about clubbing so decides to join their ranks, becoming the most hardcore gangsta on the streets, lots of scantily clad ladies gyrate against him like Smeagol on a blow up doll, rinse, lather repeat. Soon the thug learns that Thug B, who is the old leader of the gang, is in the same jail as he is and befriends him, vowing to kill Thug C, who stepped on his sneaker or lagoon pounded his mom into compliance, as soon as he gets out. When Thug B gets killed, Thug A turns to the Bible for support, with much negro spirituals being sung in the background, and decides to forgive Thug C and then the credits roll. Whoopdee fuggin doo...I never once finished one of these turd fests and thought, "I'm glad I did that"...

Just a short rant, more tomorrow

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