Monday, June 30, 2008

Friday Shenanigans


can be edited by all

where's Smeagol's page then?

So I hope Friday's shenanigans did not frighten anyone into never reading my blog again, though in all honesty I can't see how such an adorable fella would scare anyone away... ugh those photos (probably more than 200 of them) still make me shudder...

So I went to Probation and got my photo taken with everyone down there... man I have never gotten so many compliments or accidental (though I do not think they were all accidental, if you know what I mean) palms on my barely-covered ass. This one guy was all like "Man, Stevester, you are a confident man, mmm mmm mm, you are a very confident man" while looking me over, pretty sassy in my book.

I went to the Marshal's office, stopping to let the guards get a look at me, and then they had me stand in front of a camera that went Gawd knows where while some guy guffawed into the radio...

One of the guards tells me to say I am a "self surrender" when I get to the window, and I get back there and there is this guy who looks at me and does not even attempt a smile, I tell him I am a self surrender and I swear to you all, his hand twitched like he was going to shoot me. I was afraid I was going to be put into a jail cell and have to use my one phone call to contact my manager to come and get my silly buns... how embarrassing!

One of the funniest points was I went into the little cafe we have in the building to mess with our janitor, and the lady who was working the counter saw me and doubled up laughing, and stayed that way for a good minute to a minute and a half... just deep gutteral laughs that seemed to shake her whole body, very nice! These 2 lawyers were in there getting food, and they didn't smile or anything, just turned their heads like "ugh this is so disgusting I am just not going to comment", and I once again remembered why I do not like working at the Firm anymore... it seems a lot of lawyers have no sense of humor whatsoever, maybe it is because of all the work they do as associates, because most of the people here used to be lawyers and are pretty funny...

No matter, I go up to the judge's chambers. The first judge I went to was I guess talking to someone on the phone, and when he saw me he goes "Bob, I'm gonna have to talk to you later, there's a large black man wearing a tutu in my office" and hung up without listening to see what Bob had to say about that. He also said I reminded him of something, and uttered the words "drag queen" and "albino stripper", 2 things I never thought a judge would say in my life. I would recount the story, but even if I do not use names I am not sure if I can go to prison or not, so I will keep it to myself.

One of the judges wanted to know where the Tylester's matching outfit was, and if maybe he should not be wearing a yellow one, which I thought was actually pretty sassy kinda classy.

I have video, but with video comes a quandary: I know for a fact these will end up on Youtube, I mean come all honesty if it was one of you I would have already posted it on somewhere... but should I edit out the parts I am not in and if I do that would that detract from the quality of said video? I mean the videos are totally hot but do I really want to see them on NBC's "To Catch a Predator"?

In a word, yes.

I will post the videos because I have no shame, because I have such high self esteem that for the life of me I cannot see why it would not be awesome and hot to watch these videos, maybe emulationg Toboggan Boy by masturbating whilst crying softly, spread eagle on your bed... ugh.

Anyway let me make sure the videos are legally alright, here are a few more photos to whet your insatiable appetite:

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