Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Holy Testicle Tuesday!

"guzzle man chowder"
"Take it up the hole, Jenkins"
I love children's shows

Ah, where to begin, where to begin.....

Smeagol did come by Thursday, but I was not there. I had to go to Lawrence Country Club for a judge's meeting. Little side note there. The meeting went well, all of the technology worked fine as I knew it would, and my ideas of how a country club should act were confirmed. All of the following only applies to the employees, the people at the meeting were great.

In keeping with my stereotypes of how country club employees should act, which I must admit is heavilly influenced by Caddyshack and other Rodney Dangerfield movies, no one made eye contact, they gave me the table behind the screen (I moved it so I could see), and one of the judges had to coax them into serving me dinner. Now I know you all must be thinking "it's because that nigger's black, those damn dirty racists!" and I would like to remind you that calling someone "nigger" is kinda racist, unless you are black yourself then it is campy and fun.

I do not think they were shunning me because of skin color, though. I dunno why, I just felt that the reason I was being treated like an outcast was more financial status then penile size and extra bone in the foot that helps my kind run faster. Look it very well could have been racist, but I like to think that this being 2008, if we are all honest with ourselves, if black people have not all gotten on ships and gone back to Africa by now, it should be obvious that we do not plan to. Just to make sure though, I did refrain from hitting on the white women and attempting to steal all of the car stereos, which was tough to do.

Anyway, while I was living out my apparent role as an extra in a 1980's coming of age movie, my wife was trying to discreetly Febreze the couches while Mystery and Smeagol funked them up with extreme predjudice. Apparently Smeagol had been working so much booty ass overtime that he hadn't had time for his fans, and with the rising costs of gas prices and more and more bondsmen's unwillingness to bail him out because he had stiffed them before, life was pretty hard for that poor, poor raptor. He came by, made a visual inventory of my pawnable items, took 10 dollars for gas money and left, promising to return this thursday. My wife smartly made sure he knew he was not expected to pay the 10 dollars back so that we can get a good photo of him, I am not sure why she did not but I will take care of it.

No comments: