Friday, March 21, 2008

Smeagolisms, with definitions

Time for the threatdown
and this week's number one threat?

So yesterday the Tylester asked if Smeagol had any other sayings that he frequently....uh....said, and I realized that if I ever get any new readers besides the 3 people I pay to log on each day (the checks in the mail, Will, I promise!), they might like a handy little lexicon on the different Smeagolisms, their definitions and how they are used. Enjoy.

Stevester's Smeagolisms (in no particular order)

Bitch muhfugger: Smeagol's default term for Jeff, homeless people, or those more successful than him, i.e. every person who reads this blog, because by inference you have the internet and Smeagol does not, is a "bitch mufugger", or more accurately, "bishmufugger"
example: If I wasn't so tired right not I would whoop Jeff's ass, bishmufugger!"

Bish niggie: Usually either myself or JJ, or any of our friends he is trying to impress with his awesome grasp of modern ebonics.
example: "Hey bish niggie, when are we gonna go pick up some ho's?" (Usually said right in front of Mystery)

Trust, mmkay?: Smeagol usually says this when he wants to reaffirm something, or he makes a threat and you ask him is he can back it up. He also uses it when he tells Mystery something and she goes "Duh really" like she does 99% of the time. Example: Smeagol: "You know what, I coulda kicked Hitler's ass, if I felt like it. I was there, you know." Mystery: "Really?" Smeagol: "Trust, mmkay? I was all like 'quit, qui- *snoring* -huh? Oh I was all like 'I don't care what singles you made, you can't do that to Kevin Federline no matter where the sauna is! ANd then I punched that bish mufugger out niggie!"

I'm so tired: Smeagol's default response to any and every question you could possibly ask ever. Example: Hey Smeagol where's the ketchup? Smeagol: I'm so tired... You: Hey Smeagol my dog died. Smeagol: I'm so tired... You: Hey Smeagol this Taco Bell must be a month old! Smeagol: I'm so...really?! Let's eat!

booty ass overtime: I think booty ass overtime is any time worked over 20 hours a week, because smeagol constantly complained about it but never brought home the paychecks to back up the validity of his claim

punk bitch niggie: Usually reserved for either Jeff or random homeless people, Smeagol is known to also call residents at the nursing home he works at this. Has twice been knocked out by old men, maybe for calling them either 'punk bitch niggie" or a variation.

More Monday

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