A pilot

there's nobody here
we're hidden in the doldrums
it's gray, it's dark, fuck.

Some things going on

I am thinking about starting a product review section on this site, not anything important or boring, mostly video games, beers and various products used in the act of snootch pounding (sorry, I watched South Park last night). It will also give me a chance to use my new camera a little more. I felt like a jerk in that little email thread that I did not actually have another blog set up for product reviews.

So far I have a few different criteria, here is the sample for video games:
Home Console:
Awesomeness (or lack thereof)
Smeagolness (would Smeagol play this game?)
Difficulty (how many times Smeagol would call around for help)
Price (is this damn game worth it?)

Portable:

The portable console will be the far more in depth, as I play video games whilst shitting a lot more than I do sitting in a chair or anything.

Smeagolness
Portability (can I finish an iteration of a game in one toilet shopping instance?)
saves (how hard is it to save the game and get out of the crapper when I want to, rather than sit there and develop butt crust trying to find a save point or turning the damn thing off in frustration)
Music (is it something that I would turn off to avoid embarrassment, or something that I could not bear to turn off even though I know I would be found out?)

Beer:
This one will have to wait a while, I cannot drink for like 2 months due to alcohol constricting your eyes or some shit the doctor told me no for a couple of months after Lasik.

Price: If I have to think twice about it, it's too high. On the other hand, points can be taken away fi you can purchase a six pack for less than 50 cents a beer (I'm looking at you, Camo and Night Train)
Hoppiness: Does this beer have pizzazz?
guzziliness: Can the Stevester chug one without having to bother tasting it, or is it a beer so good chugging seems like a crime? (For instance, I chug Guinness, I hate that crap but if that's all thats there, fuck it. With Foster's, however, gentle sips until the pint is extinguished is the order of the day)
Drunkenness: How long does it take before Brown bear either passes out or starts attempting to molest whomever is nearest? (I found out with Sam Adam's for instance, after only 5 cans of the crap I was attempting to molest random passersby)

I dunno, I might demo other things too. I will post pix of me using the product (and since this is a family blog, that leaves a lot of products out) and the aftermath of imbibing said product. Let me know what you think in the vote box.