Thursday, October 16, 2008

The Race, Pt. II

you see the debate?
yeah, I was watching porn too
fistersister rules!

...will be tomorrow's post, I promise. I was watching last night's debate, and realized how futile John McCain seems. If you are a McCain supporter, you may want to navigate away. I finally wrote to the rudepundit.

If you do not know who the rudepundit is, check this out. Fantastic, no? I started reading it about 3 years ago when the website closed, and it is very readable. In closing, here is the email I sent, hope you enjoy:

OK, I've had it. Last night, I watched as an old, completely out of touch with anything newer than the Manhattan Project old geezer was outwitted, out matched, and outclassed. And once the moderater finished doing all of those things, Senator Obama hit him even worse.

But the true, frothy outrage came when I was watching the "analysis", and by "analysis" I mean "retarded meanderings of the diahrretic bowels of whatever sacks of shit they could find that had not already said the exact same thing". I listened, shocked and dumbfounded, as they claimed Obama spent much of the debate "backpeddling". WTF?! I mean no, seriously, What. The. Fuck. Did they not watch the same debate I did? Because what I saw can best be described in this mini skit I am going to make up. Here, for shits and giggles you pick a role, let a friend be another, and hire an old emphasymic (I know I spelled it wrong, fuckin' sue me) hooker to play McCain! It'll be fun!

o = Obama m = Moderator j = McCain

m = Senator Obama, what is your stance on economic policy?
o = Well thank you, Bob, I believe we need to blah blah blah, I would like to reach across the-
j = Senator Obama is a raging pedophile.
[stunned silence]
m (while looking at McCain, who said that with a straight face) = Uh...OK. And to you again, Mr. Obama, what do you think is the most pressing issue for Americans today?
o = Well, I think the most pressing issue is the economy, with high gas prices and education coming up as close respective seconds and thirds. If I am given the honor of bein-
j = Senator Obama was the third gunman on the grassy knoll.
[slightly less stunned silence. Someone in the audience nervously clears his throat]
m = Uh....alright. Senator McCain, what would you do to pull us out of our current economic downfall?
j = When I was a young boy, I dreamed of being an orange. Of flying through the air, and saving children and curing disease. Senator Obama raped a dog yesterday, and lathered his cock in it's bloody shit before sticking it in a leukemia pationt's mouth as he slept.
m [after a few seconds staring in disbelief at this old woman] = Senator Obama, your rebuttal?
o [also looking at McCain, who has started undressing at the podium] = Uh...I would....uh...I would start by giving middle class Ameri-
j (dancing around like a drunken leprechaun) = Shit leg turkey fuck bunghole petunia! Shit leg turkey fuck bunghole petunia!
[in the audience, some of the lower IQ'd people start believing him, and are looking at Obama with a mixture of contempt and embarrassment]
o = While I have no idea what he is doing right now, I would like to point out that I agree with Senator McCain on some issues, such as bailouts and trying to reform the education of our young children. One of the ways I can make this work better is -
j = Barack Obama's mother introduced AIDS to America.
o = No, she did not.
j = You're a pedophile.
m = Let's switch gea-
j (Looking at Obama with idiocy in his eyes) = You're a pedophile.
o = No I'm not. Can we talk about the iss-
j = You're a pedophile.
etc., etc., ad nauseum

It is at this time, gentle reader, that some of the, how shall I put it diplomatically, more impressionable constituents watching this debate began believing Barack Obama was a Muslim Arab Pedophile Terrorist, and began frothing at the mouth in retarded anger, jiggling pockets of fat covering red-sore laden vaginas or long flaccid demi-cocks, mouths turning into tributaries of anger, with crows feet accentuating extra jowls as they wonder when the Arabimaniacs are going to burst through the door, lift up the huge layer of fat and violate them. If someone calls you a pedophile 10 times in a row, you have to realize that there are people out there stupid enough they will believe it, much as they believed Saddam Hussein was one of the original 20 who attacked America on 9/11. As much as it hurts you to dignify such a response, you have to dignify it with a response, or the frothing masses will have your head over it. When did Joe Sixpack become so fucking stupid?!

It's sad, frankly, that our political climate has devolved to this point. I know, I know, I promised I would not get all political but sometimes you got to.

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