Thursday, August 6, 2009

Giggity Giggity Goo!

The nipple pimple
blemish on hot body part?
or snack with your milk?

Well, Smeagol went home today. I know, I know, you are crying in your oatmeal... I know you all secretly hoped he would come into your life, sleeping on your couch, in your car, on your toilet as he stops it up with ginormous half-digested 30 day old taco bell turds of justice... but I guess true love, or Mystery's mom getting the lights turned back on, convinced him to change his ways.

So I told JJ to tell Smeagol about the party my sister was having, simply because it would have been hilarious to see him there, but he didn't show up, meaning either A) Smeagol never woke up long enough to be informed about said party (he was always asleep when I called, which is why I never got to talk to him) or B) he feared the Country Club Plaza's constabulary corps.

Whatevs, the party wasn't so bad, they had a band (can't remember the name, but my sister was all googley eyed the whole time, so I am going to assume it was Culture Club), decent food, plus I was the buffest one there, so that was pretty cool...

I guess I just don't understand that wily raptor. Sometimes I think he can function in normal society if he really wanted to, and though outlandish, his constant claims that he got to sniff the vaginas of hot ladies all the time can't ALL be lies, can they?

Anyway, on to something else, the PLAN is this next Tuesday to take my dear mother out to lunch with the Tylester, where I am assuming he will attempt to make out with her or get her to say something from the olde Mystical Retard days... we will be at Oklahoma Joe's on 47th and Mission road next Tuesday, look for the guy not wearing any pants, and Tylester and I will be behind him.

On another front, we have another 50th b-day coming up, and before I am asked to dress as something humiliating, I would like to come up with an idea of something hawt to dress up as, but I am coming up blank. I originally thought assless chaps and a Duluth letterman jacket would be nice but maybe not so corporate environment friendly...

So I am leaving it up to you. What should I wear? This time it is being left up to me, and as long as they are no more wrong than a pink tutu or a bumblebee costume I am willing to listen to any ideas... I will then put them up to a vote and get a costume made.

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