Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Turkey Lurky Bitches!

I want some turkey
but only assholes remain
O I can't refrain!


So we ended up with 28 fucking people at my house (not actually fucking, but there were some weird stains on my bed... hmmmm) and I didn't get to try half of what was there. You might not care about that, waiting with baited breath to hear if that wily raptor caused any malarkey, and if that is what you were waiting for.... you will be disappointed.


No, Thanksgiving was a great day, in no small part because that raptor did NOT show up. It was amazing - people called and asked if he was going to be there, and as soon as they found out he was not going to be there all kinds of people wanted to come by the crib. What's so funny is that everyone put aside their hatred of other people in the family in order to look to the common good - a hatred of Smeagol. Yes, people who had told me no for years showed up and enjoyed the festivities, eating all the food and not leaving me any, sleeping in my bed, using my personal bathroom, all had great times. But I wonder, what happened with Smeagol?


Apparently, Haggard can now collaborate my claim as there has been a confirmed raptor sighting at his "second" "job". Apparently a week or two ago, Haggard was out at a certain McDonald's in Liberty, enjoying a light lunch, when he saw said raptor walking towards the building. I will dig deeper to see what if any interaction there was at a later date.


Anyway, I have more updates, apparently Smeagol is paying JJ to hump various ladies on his couch, I will elaborate on that tomorrow... the Escort makes an astonishing return as well, there is plenty of drama going on right now, so stay tuned yo!

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