Monday, November 17, 2008

The Road Less Travelled - Holiday Edition

autumn leaves, brisk wind
a chilly breeze reminds you
the raptor draws near

I would first like to apologise, I forgot to inform you all I was going on a weeklong hiatus as I took a week's vacation from work, from computers, from life. Twas a grand time, and I fully recommend everyone do it, taking a week where you do absolutely nothing, just sit in the living room with either a cup of cocoa or some hardcore porn, and revel in the fact that not only are the kids at school, but that you have nothing to do. No errands to run, no reason to turn the computer on, just sit in a chair and go completely blank. Make sure like me you have a goodly spouse who will turn you at 4 hour intervals so that you do not get bed sores, and that they clean up your poopies.

ANyway, on to other things.

I turned 28, whoopie. I got my third stripe on my belt that happens to be black, which is pretty cool, but with that came something not so cool. We are trying to go more traditional, as some of the heathen children in my dojo have no respect for themselves, much less their elders, and so I have to deal with every time I enter the dojo going through the Sempai rule.

The Sempai rule sounds cool in theory. In Japan, the third degree blackbelt was the one who actually runs the classes within the dojo. The higher belt rank mainly handled money and other administrative tasks, and taught the black belts. As most of your teaching up to the rank of black belt came from the third degree black belt, or "Sempai", you showed them a great deal of respect, done by stopping whatever you were doing when they enter the dojo, turning to them, announcing their formal title and bowing profusely. THis would have been cool in the olden days, with adults and possibly children who are not poster children for Ritalin (I do not advocate Ritalin, but if I did... that's all I'm saying), but today, not so much.

I get to k-rat, and walk in the door scratching my balls like I usually do before I walk around shaking hands, and the kids all turn to look at my mid-scratch, parents as well, and giggle out "Hey Semper fi!" or some such crap before trying to hug me into submission. I swear I almost used my kung fu powers to kill them. Why do kids like me so much? I go out of my way to avoid them, and they somehow take that as me trying to mentor them or something, and it annoys the crap out of me. I mean, I like my kids, but that's because I am required to by state law I think.


So I am setting Thanksgiving up in true steveshaikus style, I asked Smeagol to come and then called my sister and assured her he would not be there, and also invited a few other people that wily raptor owes cold hard cash to. I think things will turn out really well.

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