Wednesday, November 5, 2008

First, and I do not say this lightly, I have to comment on last night. I am a STAUNCH Obama supporter. I would let him put his finger inside me. Well maybe after a couple of cosmos, but you get the idea. The main reason besides his message made angels weep tears of happiness? McCain never said what his stances on anything were. He spent the whole time insulting Obama, which would have been funny but his insults were stupid.

Having said that, McCain's concession speech last night was quite possibly the most beautiful, eloquent, and seemingly heartfelt sincere thing I have ever heard. I saw not an old guy who was angry some punk negro was stealing his hubcaps/ election, but an old guy who loved his country deeply, as we all know he must since he helped build it. I am not in the least bit ashamed to say I watched it in it's entirety, and while I did not cry, I did stop masturbating to for a few seconds, as his words flowed like jisms down an especially moist back pussy after happy time hand reliefs.

Anyway, part II of the Richie Rich Saga.

So there I am, picking up McDonald's off the ground, and this asshat is rambling on about God knows what with no teeth I can't really understand his primitive but beautiful language, until I get everything bagged up and just walk away from him and into the house. I am standing inside, and it's strange, I can still hear that asshat! Amd I goin insane? I stick my finger in my rectum to make sure, and no, all is well. I wipe my finger on the dog and go back outside, and he is still standing in my driveway, facing my front door, talking away!

Let's start with a relatively short tale:

So RR had just moved in with his wife, Behemoth, known as such not for her huge hulking figure, but more for the amount of hair that sticks out of her shirt and armpits and chin. I had just gotten my black belt, and had just finished kicking the front door off of the hinges, which was terrible because to this day the door still doesn't work.

Anyway, later on my wife is telling the neighbors what I had done, and RR ambles over, gums on
full display. I give you, a moron. Observe:

"Yeah I used to take karate, I got kicked out of the school because I beat up my instructor, and he didn't want me taking over his class."

I kid you not. This moron said that while we all stood there. The silence, as we tried to take in his retardation, was palpable. Time to change the subject. I start talking about work at da Firm, and Greyskull's penchant for devouring kitten souls. At this point I still did not know about what a loser RR was, so I foolishly stopped long enough to take a break. Big mistake:

"I used to work in a warehouse and I made 70000 dollars a year. I got fired because the manager was afraid I would take his job and run the whole place", and with that, without asking if anyone else cared, he lit up a cigarette and blew breath that can best be described in a monologue, by Samuel Jackson:

"The shit was BAAAAD, muthafuckah!"

Thanks, Samuel, anyway, everyone kind of dispursed at that point, and I think that day RR fell in love with my wife a little bit, as that is the only explanation I can come up with for his bothering me more than anyone else in the area.

More tomorrow.

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