Wednesday, April 8, 2009


Sorry about the long time between posts, fucking Internet Explorer 8 doesnt work with eBlogger so I cant paste the shit I write. I am doing this in Google Chrome, which is pretty snazzified. Enough with the tech talk, have at you!

Phil COllins, you rock!
feel my invisible touch
in the air tonight

Man, I love Phil Collins almost as much as I truly enjoy Tangerine Dream... I have listened to Force Majeure at least once a day every day for the last week... awesome.

So what the hell has been up....hmmm... not much. Working 6 scammers at once is taking it's toll on my will to write like an unstoppable rebel force, I wish Benson Hunter would respond to my emails and help me on these, but for some reason he's still cranky about all the driving I made him do... go figure.

Ah well, let's take a short trip into the past, as an event today reminded me of it...

When Toboggan Boy was in love with She Who Comes From A Pipe, he would launch into these super long, boring, whiny rants about how he was a "foolish, foolish man" and how "with the love and support of my family, I know I can get better" all the while riffling through your things looking for pawnables. This is already well travelled ground, so I will not really get into this facet of his cracketry. What I will get into he still does, and is almost as bad.

I know this is going to sound strange to most of you, as you think about all the love, kisses and tender touches from your parents during your youth, but no one in my family likes touching except Mystical. I think my dad hugged me when I was like 6, but I can't even be sure of that. There were never good night kisses,  hugs, handshakes, or anything like that, but there were other things which were worse. Toboggan Boy would get no end of joy in putting his hand on JJ and my knee and say stuff like "Look at the little girlie boy" and giggle like a schoolgirl when we tried to avoid his faux-molester touch. You see, JJ and I hated touching as much as everyone else in the family did, and we all still do. If we were to have a family reunion tomorrow, there would be 2 constants: Tylester and Will would BOTH be there, and no one would be bothered to touch or interact with anyone else unless it was to ruffle Smeagol's perm and call him "Bob" to make him grunt angrily.

Anyway, the knee thing was just gay, but the worst was the high five. If any of you ever see JJ, attempt this. You will not be sorry with how he responds, I promise. What this is, is when Toboggan Boy was deep into the crack, and would finish a story, he would hold up his hand as if to say "good talk, buddy", and hold it there until you high fived him out of sheer embarrassment (as he usually spat out these boring diatribes in the middle of a store or in front of your girlfriend's parents, thus ensuring you will never see her again), and when you did high five him he would gently close his fingers around your hand, and hold it for a few extra seconds, super gay.

If you tried to pull your hand away he would hold on just a little tighter and then let go. WHile it annoys me as he still does it (though I think he does it now because he knows we don't like it), JJ hates it with a passion most reserve for much bigger things. I know this sounds petty and lame, but dammit it friggin annoys the hell out of me!

What happened that reminded me of said annoyance? One of the judges here, after informing me that a fix I had given them had worked, held up her hand for me to high five. I did the high five, and then came the soft but firm clamping of the fingers. It took all of my being not to laugh or blow snot all over the place, as that would have been the end of my career and freedom. The funny part is she seemed somehow sincere about it, and Toboggan Boy seems like he is just trying to pull you into whatever conspiracy he is in on that moment. 

Also in news, apparently a few of my readers have informed me that they have checked my supersexyblog in other countries, and I would like to request that if you do that, at least make this the home page on whatever computer you happen to be on, so as to spread the gentle wordicles of steveshaikus.

Lotta mercy!

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